Problem Management — principles

Male attitudes towards sex

The first case can be independent of sexual preference. Prison inmates might rape others in order to establish power, but neither they, nor anyone else, regard the attack as a homosexual act. Many species of animals exhibit similar behaviour.

Heterosexually, this can become an act of rape too, often with a wife that needs to be put into her place and taught to do her duty.

This domination aspect has become common in the English language through the F word. F you has an implied I can before it. F yourself implies that the speaker doesn't even have to bother, he can make the target do it himself.

The second case is also a selfish use, but typically through ignorance rather than maliciousness. The partner serves more as a source of stimulation and a means of masturbation than anything else.

A one-night-stand provides the perfect partner, but a wife that quietly submits and puts up with it will do just as well. She might regard it as love, but she is in fact creating her own hell.

The third case includes shared intimacy within loving, long-term relationships. One's own pleasure becomes a side-effect rather than a goal. This is obviously the most desirable situation, both for society and for individuals.

But often this too can be viewed differently. One might become obsessed with having a reputation for pleasing others. Such a Don Juan gets the greatest pleasure not from the sex itself, but from the attention and praise of others.


The first case is almost always conducted as an act of violence, even in those situations where the partner is willingly participating.

The second case might involve deliberate rape, but is far less likely to be a physical attack. A drunken date-rape would be a typical situation.

But even a loving person might become delusional about his powers, seducing and effectively raping under the false impression that the victims are enjoying it. The thought of having hurt someone else by means of sex would be very distressful.


In the first case, a prostitute would simply be a willing victim, receiving the anger and hatred intended for someone else. Sometimes though, the client may wish to be the dominated one, to receive the punishment and humiliation himself.

The second case client simply needs satisfaction, and the prostitute is simply an object that can provide it.

In the third case, the prostitute represents a loved one, such as a wife that doesn't respond lovingly to sex. The client needs to be told that he is an excellent lover, that he is giving pleasure. This is the most common situation, where men need to feel wanted.